Unmitigated Phallus

widdershinsgirl:

clockworktoast:

gifoverit:

cumberbatchinthetardis:

rikkysworld:

wickedhorror:

ajamass:

finalforyou:

no0nedoesitbetter:

you-me-at-dicks:

ymasrehab:

mychemicalnachos:

yep sigh since when does tahlia look like taylor you tell me

when is lily evER lie-lee?
neVER THAT’S WHEN.

my last name is gonsalves. gun-solves. not gonzalez, not gun-sal-vez. gun-salves.

i am not called danielle

Mine is Crowfoot. SAID LIKE IT’S SPELT, SPELT LIKE IT SOUNDS.
So WHY do people call me Crawford? They also ask how it’s spelt.
BITCH, IT LOOKS THAT HARD TO YOU?

james, jamas, jammas, jarnas, jacobs. Legit thats what i get sometimes i dont know how they get Jacobs

My last name is Streich. I always get Streak, Stretch, Stritch, Strych…no. It’s pronounced like “Strike”. People get it wrong so often, I’m genuinely surprised when someone says it right on the first try. And people always try and spell it like Striech. Bitch, the “i before e” rule does not apply to NAMES.

Jessica Jones-Hanna. People insist on putting an h at the end. And I’m always being called Aimee >:c

My last name is German but NO ONE spells it right. They try to put the e before the i when German e-i diphthongs are pronounced as the SECOND letter in the pair. Thus Streich = strike and Niemann = knee-man.

Lor-i-mer
Not Lorinear, Lorimar, Loriner or Lormier.

Kyle, Kia, Kye, Kevin (whut?), Carl, Ken, Kee, Kat, it’s endless.

You wouldn’t believe that people could mispronounce “Berger.” By age 18, however, I was used to spelling it out verbally because EVERYONE writes “Burger.”

I have actually had people tell me I had spelled my name wrong after seeing me write it down.
I mean, who the fuck even says that? How do you have enough arrogance to tell someone who has just written *their name*, which they have had for twenty-some years (at the time this happened), that because *you* don’t recognize the spelling they must have obviously spelled *their own fucking name* wrong?
No, asshole. It’s MY name, I’m pretty sure I spelled it the exact same way I always have, and just because it’s not a spelling you’re familiar with doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Fuck off.
There’s a reason I just go by “K” when they ask for a name to call with your order at Starbucks or wherever. It’s a lot simpler.

clockworktoast:

gifoverit:

cumberbatchinthetardis:

rikkysworld:

wickedhorror:

ajamass:

finalforyou:

no0nedoesitbetter:

you-me-at-dicks:

ymasrehab:

mychemicalnachos:

yep sigh since when does tahlia look like taylor you tell me

when is lily evER lie-lee?

neVER THAT’S WHEN.

my last name is gonsalves. gun-solves. not gonzalez, not gun-sal-vez. gun-salves.

i am not called danielle

Mine is Crowfoot. SAID LIKE IT’S SPELT, SPELT LIKE IT SOUNDS.

So WHY do people call me Crawford? They also ask how it’s spelt.

BITCH, IT LOOKS THAT HARD TO YOU?

james, jamas, jammas, jarnas, jacobs. Legit thats what i get sometimes i dont know how they get Jacobs

My last name is Streich. I always get Streak, Stretch, Stritch, Strych…no. It’s pronounced like “Strike”. People get it wrong so often, I’m genuinely surprised when someone says it right on the first try. And people always try and spell it like Striech. Bitch, the “i before e” rule does not apply to NAMES.

Jessica Jones-Hanna. People insist on putting an h at the end. And I’m always being called Aimee >:c

My last name is German but NO ONE spells it right. They try to put the e before the i when German e-i diphthongs are pronounced as the SECOND letter in the pair. Thus Streich = strike and Niemann = knee-man.

Lor-i-mer

Not Lorinear, Lorimar, Loriner or Lormier.

Kyle, Kia, Kye, Kevin (whut?), Carl, Ken, Kee, Kat, it’s endless.

You wouldn’t believe that people could mispronounce “Berger.” By age 18, however, I was used to spelling it out verbally because EVERYONE writes “Burger.”

I have actually had people tell me I had spelled my name wrong after seeing me write it down.

I mean, who the fuck even says that? How do you have enough arrogance to tell someone who has just written *their name*, which they have had for twenty-some years (at the time this happened), that because *you* don’t recognize the spelling they must have obviously spelled *their own fucking name* wrong?

No, asshole. It’s MY name, I’m pretty sure I spelled it the exact same way I always have, and just because it’s not a spelling you’re familiar with doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Fuck off.

There’s a reason I just go by “K” when they ask for a name to call with your order at Starbucks or wherever. It’s a lot simpler.

Source: illusionsinthedark