MY UTERUS IS SO FUCKING METAL

Conservatives keep finding new ways to surprise and delight/horrify me.  It’s pretty impressive, to be honest.  Today’s hilaritragic dose of “Excuse me, in which reality do you live?  It sounds like a fascinating place to visit!” comes from Kevin Swanson of Generations Radio, a conservative Christian radio show based out of Colorado Springs:

[S]cientists that have done research on women’s wombs after they’ve gone through the surgery [have] compared the wombs of women who were on the birth control pill to those who were not on the birth control pill. And they have found that with women who are on the birth control pill, there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb. They’re just like dead babies. They’re on the inside of the womb. And these wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.
A stick-figure comic of a political rally.  One figure in the crowd holds up a large sign reading [citation needed] in the style of Wikipedia’s superscript notation of incomplete sources.

DEAD BABY GRAVEYARD WOMB is going to be the name of my death metal band, you guys.  I just can’t let a name like that go to waste.  Either that, or the title of my memoirs.  Maybe both.  It sounds like the title of a Dethklok album, doesn’t it? 
Nathan Explosion: This is metal… for [dead fetuses].
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: [dead fetuses] don’t gots no good music to listen to.
William Murderface: Yeah, it’s true.
Props to Mr. Hyperbole for working in the phrase “dead babies” or “little babies” three times in five sentences, I guess.  Repetition, repetition, repetition.  Say it over and over again and people will eventually believe it. 

Congratulations, Kevin Swanson.  Your hard-on for incredibly, absurdly inaccurate “science” and attempts to wring the most emotionally-compelling/viscerally disgusting insults out of it have, like vegangelicals and the “bloodmouths” thing, flopped so hard you’ve actually created a sweet new term for us to describe just how hardcore and metal our bodies are.

Thanks bro!

58 Notes/ Hide

  1. hismuse reblogged this from jadelyn
  2. merinnan reblogged this from knitmeapony
  3. minikiabzurdah reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  4. timeandmotion-inspiration reblogged this from lilyaquarius and added:
    Someone has never heard of menstruation, apparently…..??!!!
  5. lilyaquarius reblogged this from allicat-strike
  6. allicat-strike reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  7. shoelessseance reblogged this from doodlelover
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  12. cpatainrogers reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  13. tangleofgarlands reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  14. comradeloss reblogged this from brbshittoavenge and added:
    Totally changing my Rock Band 3 band name to Graveyard Womb.
  15. all-things-spn reblogged this from terraaliena
  16. chezamanda reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  17. terraaliena reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  18. heathledgerismyhero reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  19. poisonedbullets reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  20. language-games reblogged this from brbshittoavenge
  21. brbshittoavenge reblogged this from amezri and added:
    That’s what taking those whore pills does to you, ladies. It gives you a dead baby graveyard.
  22. amezri reblogged this from acciomjollnir and added:
    CONSERVATIVES HOW DO YOU SCIENCE?!
  23. ananonymousbob reblogged this from bluelightseven and added:
    Sounds like a god bar pickup line: “wanna go back to my place and kill some fetuses?”
  24. bluelightseven reblogged this from acciomjollnir and added:
    HAHAHAHAHLDASHA;FHFHHAHAH
  25. acciomjollnir reblogged this from clickthefrog and added:
    AHAHA HAHAHAH HA HAAAAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  26. scairdycat reblogged this from jadelyn
  27. intenselyfocused reblogged this from knitmeapony
  28. lemonistas reblogged this from maggiesox and added:
    …how do you science
  29. allcapsdoom reblogged this from maggiesox
  30. baldmarlin reblogged this from maggiesox and added:
    YEAH MAN THIS GUY IS TOTALLY RIGHT. *wind whistling through an barren desert. A tumbleweed rolls by slowly*
  31. galacticdrift reblogged this from knitmeapony
  32. clickthefrog reblogged this from maggiesox
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