Paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate

30 Day Self Esteem Challenge: Day 6

Day 6: Something about the way you just are that you like

My absurdly overdeveloped vocabulary, acquired through years and years of reading voraciously, far above my grade level. I’ve been told I talk like a book - the kind depends on the conversation, anywhere from a textbook to a poli sci paper to Tolkienesque fantasy novels. It does have the slightly uncomfortable side effect that when asked to explain a word, I sometimes have a hard time, as most of my definitions come not from a dictionary or teacher, but from contextual understanding. So I end up going “Well, it’s similar to X [more commonly used synonym], but with connotations of directness and forcefulness. Not darkly so, though. You know what I mean?” (The usual response is “Then why didn’t you just say X?” Because I was specifically reaching for those connotations to add nuance. Duh.)

30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 5

Something about the way you think that you like

My critical thinking capacity. Assessing information and theories, poking them to see how they work and what holds them in that shape, detecting and interpreting patterns, holding them up to light to see their various sides glinting. It comes naturally to me, encouraged as simple curiosity as a child, then shaped by my high school and college education, honed by my encounters with people in the social justice blogosphere and then here on tumblr. I literally can’t just hear someone make a claim or statement and go “Ok.” I immediately start picking it apart and analyzing it. It’s something I find both entertaining and useful, and I’d go stark raving mad from boredom if I ever stopped, so there you go.

30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 4

A habit you have that you like

Err…good question. My habit of compulsively researching and rechecking things before ever posting anything on the internet everywhere - including words I KNOW I know, but just in case I misinterpreted them somehow? - has led me to have very few factual-incorrectness callouts (which I find humiliating beyond belief, so that’s a good thing). But it’s done out of anxiety and makes it really hard to hit publish, so. I twirl my hair around my fingers all the time, a habit held over from childhood, and I like the way it feels (which is why I do it), but I realize it looks a little silly.

OH. I got it. My habit of picking up swear words and curses out of fantasy novels I’ve read. ”Gods above, below, and between!” when I’m irritated with something. ”Mother Night,” when someone makes a particularly idiotic request of me at work. I can’t think of more right now - because it’s one of those things you can’t deliberately think of them when you’re trying to, they just pop out when you’re not paying attention - but I like the way they add to the quirkiness I deliberately cultivate in my idiolect. Besides, if someone ever recognizes one, INSTANT BFF.

30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 3

A part of your personality you like

Well, this totally isn’t 100x harder for me than physical things I like about myself, as a person recovering from over a decade of major depression. Hmm.

I guess this is pretty related to that, though. Because while it’s not an active thing in my personality that shows up very often, it’s actually pretty fucking amazing when I think about it - the deep reservoir of strength and endurance that keeps showing up when I need it. People think that depression is a weakness, that it happens to weak people, or that it makes you weak. They are dead motherfucking wrong. It takes an enormous amount of strength to survive depression, to get out of bed when everything in you is so exhausted you feel like you’re lugging around a miniature black hole in your chest, to smile at people and pretend you’re okay when there’s a desperate scream building at the back of your throat that you know you can’t let out, can’t can’t cant have to suppress it, to basically do all the things that “normal” people do BUT WHILE CARRYING A 200-TON WEIGHT ON YOUR SHOULDERS AT THE SAME TIME.

It showed up when Stella’s clutch went out, stranding me on the side of Highway 1 between Santa Cruz and Gilroy, literally the day after I bought her, and when the tow truck driver and I had a language barrier issue that resulted in my being stuck with a $260 tow bill I hadn’t realized was going to be charged to me, so I had to call around and borrow money and coordinate that plus getting her repaired and getting myself back to campus for class.

It showed up on the backpacking trip I took my 4th year on spring break, on the Epic Hike of Doom day when we did a 15-mile round trip hike from our campsite at Havasupai out to the Grand Canyon and back, on blisters and aching muscles from the 10-mile hike down to the campsite the day before, and when it came time to go back to camp I was so tired and hurting so bad I just wanted to lay down and cry, but I found the strength to not only keep up, but was actually at the front of the group with one of the guides chatting and so engrossed in our conversation that we got a good quarter mile ahead of the group and had to stop and wait for them to catch up.

It’s showed up every time I’ve faced my father down and insisted that he respect my boundaries, my personhood, and my beliefs.

And most of all, it showed up these past three months when I watched my life, the foundation I had thought was rock solid and would last forever, burning and falling down around me, leaving me unbalanced, unrooted, stuck in limbo without the support of the one person I’ve come to rely on. It was like losing a limb, having a part of me suddenly missing - there one day, gone the next. But I kept going. I held down my job, I worked so hard on keeping my faith in us alive, holding space for him to heal and think things over, no matter what it cost me to do so. I learned how to be the strong one for us, for the first time in our relationship. And we seem to be, now, on a path of healing because of that.

It’s like…every time I’ve come face-to-face with a situation that makes me say “I can’t. It’s too much. I just can’t do this,” there’s a part of me that wakes up and says, “Yes, you can. Here, I’ll show you.” And I think that’s pretty goddamn cool.

Plus, it refrains from saying “See? Told you so.” afterward.

30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 2

A physical feature you like on yourself

This one is a tossup between my ass and my hands. I have a fantastic ass - perfect curves and just the right amount of jiggle. Looks equally great in jeans and flats, or a skirt and heels. Very gropeable. Aw yeah. My hands, on the other…well…hand, are both beautiful - slim and long-fingered - and quite dexterous, courtesy of over 10 years of playing the flute, then jewelry-making as an adult and the harp on and off. I type at the speed of light, over 100 wpm at my best, everyone in my office comments on it. So…for aesthetics, my ass. For both aesthetics and ability, my hands.

30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 1

A facial feature you like on yourself

My eyes. They’re a green that ranges from pale, translucent-ish grey-green, to deep forest green. Sometimes they seem pure grey. Sometimes when they’re darker, gold flecks are visible. It depends on the light. Also, I’m a makeup junkie, and for me the rest of the face is just the backdrop for the eyeshadow. So I love all the things I’ve learned to do to adorn and draw attention to my eyes, as well as my eyes themselves. (Oh, and I have never used an eyelash curler in my life; naturally long and curled and dark, aw yeah.)

30 Day Self Esteem Challenge

shorm:

crowdog66:

sexsocialismandscifi:

mentalillnessmouse:

betterthandarkchocolate:

Okay time for the 30 self esteem challenge again! Followers your challenge is to do this with me!

Day one: A facial feature you like on yourself

Day two: A physical feature you like on yourself

Day three: A part of your personality that you like

Day four: A habit you have that you like

Day five: Something about the way you think that you like

Day six: Something about the way you just are that you like

Day seven: When do you feel best about yourself? Why?

Day eight: The last time you smiled when someone complimented you. What was the compliment and why did you smile?

Day nine: Something that you yourself do that makes you smile. Why?

Day ten: Why are you the way you are?

Day eleven: Do you like the way you are? Why or why not?

Day twelve: If you could change something about your personality, what would it be and why?

Day thirteen: What do you think of your smile?

Day fourteen: What do you think of your laugh?

Day fifteen: Why do you think people are attracted to you, either friend-wise or romantically?

Day sixteen: The last thing you did that made you smile

Day seventeen: Another thing you like about yourself

Day eighteen: The last thing you did that made you laugh

Day nineteen: Is there a particular outfit/article of clothing/accessory you like on yourself? Why or why not?

Day twenty: If you finish this challenge and still feel that your confidence is low, would you be willing to do it again? Why or why not?

Day twenty-one: When do you feel your most attractive? Why?

Day twenty-two: What do you think others like about your personality?

Day twenty-three: What physical feature do others seem to find most attractive about you?

Day twenty-four: What is your definition of “beautiful”?

Day twenty-five: Do you often compliment other people?

Day twenty-six: What is your favorite compliment to give and receive, and why?

Day twenty-seven: Do you often accept compliments? If not, why?

Day twenty-eight: Do you feel good about yourself today? Why or why not?

Day twenty-nine: When you don’t feel good about yourself, what do you do to change that, if anything?

Day thirty: Are you happy with yourself?

For anyone who wants a simple way to help improve their self esteem, try this simple technique by answering the above questions over the next 30 days.

I’m going to be doing it as well on my personal blog.

-Kris

This is a fab idea. It has a tag now.

I’m going to try doing this, if I remember. :)

I’m going to attempt to do this as well! I’ll be tagging them with ‘self esteem challenge’ if… idk, you hate my self-esteem? (on second thought, tagging it seems weird…)

Oh! I like this. I will join you.

Source: miss-monie